Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
this just has baby written all over it
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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