Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
