she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
