Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We had to coat check the pizza.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
