So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
