i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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