My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
