So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
