gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
