Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
