Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
