There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
