just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
