if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
