stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
