Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
