$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
