I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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