Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
