Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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