Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
