I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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