dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
