I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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