Three words: puerto rican gang bang
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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