Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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