yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
