Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
In other news, I just burned my penis
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
