i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize