i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
that is very illegal...i love you.
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