Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
