He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
