we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
