What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize