You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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