How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
