She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
