Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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