Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
