She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
