8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
