There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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