i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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