I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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