just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If I die, sorry about rent.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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