I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Randomize
