You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
where does the pee come out of this thing
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
