i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
