Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
