Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
