Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Yo dont text me then not text me
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
