she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
