no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Randomize
