i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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