Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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