i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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