Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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