girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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