Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
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