He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
