porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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