one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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