North Korea, Best Korea!
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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