I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
