Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
tell me about the eggs
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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