At least make sure they are 18
Why
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
