he shaved USA in his pubs
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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