Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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