I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
