Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
