Whod you bang
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
