So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
